창작과 비평

The photographer must have had a hard time fitting all sixty children into the same picture. He surely had that much more of a time trying to fit the wooden sign saying Myeongjeong Hall just over their heads. He managed to squeeze them all in and as a result it was hard to make out everyone's faces. Each face was so small it was hard for the woman to find her own child among them all. Making things more difficult, everyone was wearing yellow uniforms with the name of the kindergarten printed on them. The woman followed each face until she found her daughter standing to one side of the back row. Her face was slightly hidden behind the shoulders of the two children directly in front of her and all you could see were her eyes and forehead.The woman had pictures of her daughter spread out on the floor of the living room and was in the process of choosing the one with the best resolution. They were the pictures the kindergarten used to send home for the cost of additional copies. After examining a few of them in detail she was able to find her child in the rest almost immediately. Her daughter was always at one end or far in the back between the shoulders of her classmates like a sun just barely over the horizon. In this particular shot it looked as if most of the children had first been assembled together and the others, only then discovered off on their own, were placed wherever there was room.She looked carefully through the endless pictures but none of them were focused in on her daughter. There were pictures of the children with gimbop from their lunch boxes still in their mouths, or triumphantly holding sweet potatoes and radishes high in the air, having dug them up from the red earth. But in each one her daughter was either caught mid-motion as she turned her head towards the camera or never raised her head at all, and all you saw was her round forehead and the part in her hair. Once her husband had let out his frustration with her after seeing the pictures their child brought home one day. Meet with the teacher for once. Don't just send the child off to school and then forget everything. Instantly she knew what he meant. Don't you know how things work these days? Do you have any idea what it's like out there when you suggest things like that? Kindergarten teachers aren't even allowed to receive simple canned drinks any more. Her husband dropped the pictures. They scattered about the floor at her feet. You're the one who doesn't get it. Listening to him the woman wondered if she might have gotten a real picture of her daughter if she had taken the time to meet with the teacher.

Her daughter had been normal to a fault. This was of course true of her face but there was also nothing special about her physique or personality or even her favorite foods. Had she gone on to grammar school uninterrupted this general ordinariness might have worked to her advantage. She had seen many children with personalities that demanded attention go through the daily ordeal of always being noticed and called on in class.

The woman had a friend she met every once in a while over the last ten years. They would meet once in two years or twice in the same week. They would eat out together and ask about what each other were doing. They would tell jokes and laugh noisily until it was time to go. Back at home the woman would find it difficult to remember her friend's face. It was the same with her daughter. A year had passed now and it was not easy for the woman to visualize her facial features. She could find her easily enough in formal group pictures with numerous other children, but once she closed the album all that remained was the faint impression of her eyes, nose, and lips barely visible in her round shape of her face.

She had looked through the pictures all morning but could not find one with her child's face in clear view. She gave up and got the picture she used the year before. It was from a group picture taken during a trip to Seodaemun Prison. She had the part with her daughter's face looking turned to one side cut out and blown up. The picture was faint to begin with, but she was even more indistinct when it was enlarged for super-sized print.